The Pottsville Conglomerate

by Pete Davis

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about

****Review of The Pottsville Conglomerate from Stephen Carradini at independentclauses.com :

"...This is an intricately crafted album of thoughtful, powerful, highly orchestrated indie music that runs the gamut from Seven Swans whisperfolk (“Fool,” “Hymnal”) to frantic freakouts of drum-pounding, throat-shredding rock (“Behemoth,” “Let Every Evil Lung Fill”). The sections often happen in the same track, even back-to-back. The rest of the sections are filled in with piano-pop, carnival-esque melodies, acoustic guitar tunes, and more. This isn’t 95 minutes of space: this is a jam-packed extravaganza.

It is brilliant.

Pete Davis’ vision for the album is incredible; throughout the 95 minutes, the songs rarely drag. There are high points and low points, as with any album, but that’s a serious accomplishment for an album of this length, breadth and scope. Much of this can be laid at the doorstep of Davis’ acrobatic, magnetic vocals. He frequently multitracks himself into chorales, making good vocals even better.

Besides the aforementioned tracks, the romantic “A Bathhouse for Bloodhounds,” delicate opener “There Is An Ocean,” the folksy ditty “As Far as the Rails Go” and dramatic closer “Chrysopoeia” stick out for special mention. As there are 16 tracks here, I still haven’t mentioned half of the album, but you’ll have to figure those out yourself... "



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Pottsville conglomerate is the name of a rock formation in the coal-mining town of Pottsville, Pennsylvania. The album is a story of family ties, social pariahs, kidnapping, faith, and misguided attempts to derive happiness from what hurts us.

This album has taken about 5 years to write. The first song for the album was actually written some time in 2005 (though it wasn't recorded until two years later), and the last song was written in February of 2011. 5 years, however, is misleading; I have been working on my other project Invalids (invalids.bandcamp.com) for a lot of time since 2009, and I was balancing going to college for chemistry with heading up to my mom's house an hour away (where all my equipment was stored) to lay down whatever tracks I could schedule in the short periods of time that the house was empty. When I moved to California in 2009 and later to Oregon at the end of the year, I left all my gear behind me in New Jersey. It wasn't until December of 2010 that I reclaimed as much as I could, finally giving me a means to finish the record 5 years after it began. I also wrote and recorded the Grace EP (petedavis.bandcamp.com/album/grace-ep-old) in 2007, between starting and finishing this album.

This was written and recorded in my college dorm room, the basement of my old house, the spare bedroom at my mom's house, and the office of my apartment. I wrote, performed, recorded, mixed, and mastered everything on this record (save for the stomps and claps, for which I enlisted the help of some guys in California).

This album has been significantly remixed and remastered since the last time any versions of any of the songs have been shared, so if you have any previous versions already, trash them and get the new ones.


Thanks for listening.

credits

released 05 July 2011

Cover art by Mic Makalinao

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about

Pete Davis Princeton, New Jersey

My name is Pete Davis. I am a 27-year-old musician and flavor chemist. I have been writing and recording my own music since 2002, always doing everything myself. I live with my wife and three cats in New Jersey.

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Track Name: There Is an Ocean
It used to be that we were
All of us alone, with our intent to stay that way

The mountains came
To push us apart
And we obeyed
Without question or strain
But some wouldn't budge
So they bore right on through
The barricades

And held tight onto each other
With their own intent to stay

Hollow the sound of the footsteps above,
And you can feel its eyes are watching
The sun has set so many times

So pray that it goes away
And pray that it doesn’t return
So dark the coming days

So cover your eyes again
I'll cover your mouth with my hand
Your sweet breath all the same

And nobody hears it now
And nobody suspects a thing
Before I dig this grave,
Who do you call for?

Under the shadows, the auspices,
Guided to rake of this land all the fates we disbelieve
So cover your eyes again.

It used to be the ones we loved,
The ones we carried with us
It used to be the skies above
Would fill with the blackest smoke and
High, Heaven will know the place I go,
I know, I know, oh I know
Everything else it used to be
Is it better now?

(Hope carry us under,
Breathe into us, always
Calm strains suffice,
Ever soft, signify
Let our hearts fill with tears
Let our eyes fill with blood)
Track Name: The Boy with Acromegaly
We filled up our heads, but we never said what we’d have to say
We gave it our best, but we never thought that we had it in us
You fell behind
(and it watches you weeping)
I don’t have much to say, as your hands bury your face

There’s a river of blood where we can wash it away
It drains out, how it runs down your face, and still

I thought on it for days, to come up with different ways
To respond to what you’d say, but you didn’t say a thing

Danger, they told us, stay out of the woods
You, tarnished and desperate, heard the river through the trees

Oh what evil lives here
And he only comes out at night
Twice the size of normal men
He lurks in the shadows, and waits for children
And he takes them deep into the woods
Where the canopy will cover every footstep, and every scream
The horrors that they could only know
Forgive our teeth, Lord, for although you made them strong
We wore them down, we wore them out

You stop, but you don’t look back
For you know now
What they say, will you believe it now?
Or ever?
Well I don’t have much to say.
Some demons can’t be faced.
A child must know its place,
But it never will.

These shapes we make, can I not make them, too?
Oh, or near the same?
Is a wolf not a wolf until it bears its teeth?
Even though you know just how it goes?
You know what you’ve seen behind these dark eyes,
My sockets are filled with purple veins that bleed as yours
But through a longer course
Do you believe it now?
Over, it takes over,
It takes over,
I know

Now with the hounds into the woods, deep your father goes
To rescue you and bring you home
You poor, poor child, and he won’t stop for naught
But can’t you see, I’m just a man made of straw,
A marionette they’ve held above you all your life
But it comes out from inside you,
Oh, feel now what we’ve said

And you’ll be safe with these arms wrapped around your bones
What the wolves take home from the hunt with the beast,
The beast strains to breed and there it grows
And it grows, and it never gives up, it never gives up ‘til you’re one with it, too
The beast has become you and it waits for you at home.
Narrow through your bones
It takes over, I know
Track Name: What Does Your Heart Do?
Up all night
Guess your time is up
Sweet sigh, swallow,
Oh, child, you poor child,
Is it really so, child?
Oh, in the street where you'd play,
There were eyes watching you.
Oh, in the bed where you lay, there are eyes watching you.

Slick, the skin of our sweaty palms,
So slim the lines we slip across,
And the sieve will sift our sorrow, swift its loss.
This anticipation has you stuttering, I'm struggling only to breathe,
Only to keep it high enough to drown these thoughts, these thoughts

Look past it now, have you no faith in me?
Work, work, faster, have you no sense of me?
Of what I can do?
And your shoulder blades
Underneath your dress
Make its shape

Guess your time is up,
You poor, poor child

Flickered yellow light, the rain so loud it woke you up
In a half-step from a haze
And lo, the whistling wind, beating tears as they pour out from your eyes

No sense looking back, it's all the same.
When we found you, everything would be different
Your mother and I carried you up from nothing
And we knew well then everything we'd be missing
Until we found you, and it was like our prayers were answered
We love you more than we did yesterday
And we will love you more than we did today tomorrow
What once were vacancies in our hearts have been filled every day,
And it will never change, no, never

(And it was all that you could do to trust it's right,
When you were old enough to see that we can’t keep going on like this,
Lest the walls won't hold the heaviest inside.
I know, dear, but we have to try to carry on in stride,
And keep all your faith in all of the dreams that you love,
But you know, you know it's wrong.)

What does your heart do when it fails you?
Does it choke, does it scream from inside you?
Does it press on your ribs like my knees do?
Does it gently defeat what's left of you?

The parasite will find a host in you, my only love.

And the worker bees make their sacrifice for the Queen,
They keep the hive healthy, keep it calm and pristine
The drones will make children for the love of the Queen
The Queen will not tire of all her royal jelly.
Track Name: A Bathhouse for Bloodhounds
Heaven will know the place I go.
I carry it all the way I go.

Here, you miss what you had
You missed what was said
And it's really that bad
All of the things
We promised we'd say
The stories when we were older
We thought we'd tell

It's never coming out
It's never gonna change
It's never meant to stay the same for long
And we can't give it back
And so misunderstood
We laid beneath the pine trees and
Stared toward the sky
With the dark clouds above us
And the snow falling steadfast
To bury us beneath a bank
And you forgot
Just what it was
You held out your tongue
Bracing for the fall
Melting it there

And there was coal on my hands
And it was ten degrees below
And though it felt just like it should
We knew in time this all would pass
Without leaving any trace
And we would all of us forget
Save for the coldness on your tongue

Toss and turn, the damp set of sheets
You reach your lumbering arm
To touch the empty side and feel it’s still warm
Soft yellow frame on the door

Shown through the shades,
It just kept coming down
And in the morning it would cover
Every track we laid and there were angels
They had been sleeping in the snow

With every breath a white cloud would escape from your mouth,
Pushing up against your lungs,
Trying to free itself only to freeze
Did it knock you to your knees?
Oh, I know

(Push your hair gently to the back,
Down the stairs, all the lights go out,
Breathe your breath ‘til you get it back
Pound your chest, nothing's coming out)

Sleep my angel child,
There are eyes, dear, watching you
And oh, what has he done?
This young monster has played you for a fool
Stay close to me
For your father, dear, knows what's best for you
And when it comes, oh, when the flood comes,
It comes for him and you

(Heaven will know the place I go
I carry it all the way I go)

Sturdy hands shake you from your slumber
I am always watching over you dear,
Oh, child, you poor, poor child
You can trust me dear, I know it must be
Hard to see it just the way it is

(Push your hair gently to the back,
Down the stairs, all the lights go out,
Breathe your breath ‘til you get it back
Pound your chest, nothing's coming out
Further still, deep into the woods,
Calling out, listen to the ground,
Deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper still)

Heaven will know the place I go
I carry it all the way I go

May this satisfy the way your blood goes
Hanging upside down
Slumped against the wall
May we signify what can't be changed
The coldness of your breath, and it's waiting for you
To come back inside where it carries us on,
It will carry us on, I carry it on
We knew what was right, we knew where to hide
But still, it followed us into the woods
So dormant we lay, the earth starts to shake,
And wide, its mouth came up to swallow us whole

(Heaven will know the place I go
I carry it all the way I go
Chattering through your shattered bones
Til I get to bring you home
Stagnant and still, the river froze
Underneath the azure floes
Sure-footed step, and sliding slow
Underneath, the river flows
There is a place, a place I go
We'll carry it on, the place I go)
Track Name: Behemoth
Let the snow fall down.
Let it take from us warmth of our soul.
Let the rain fall down.
Let it wash us of all our emptiness.
Let the sun burn down,
Keep its children warm.
And if it gets too close,
May it burn us all.

Let the Earth shake,
Open wide.
Let it swallow us; amen.
(So we can be so warm, again and again)
Let the wind blow,
Shake the leaves,
Of the dying trees.
(So they can move one last time)

Let the heavens pardon us,
For our selfish deeds.
If we get too small watching from above,
May you send your hand, down through the sky.
May we give our lives,
Taking others from their own heathen ways and
Cleanse this land, strong and pure.
Hear me (a-men),
We’ve got time to spend searching for all the
Devil’s work, and still we deny it.
We deny his capacity to take even the ones we love.

Bless your mother's heart, we knew that it was her time,
How quickly she disappeared,
And let us keep her alive for he wants us to forget.
Let us hear of her sins so we can learn why she's gone and
Let us take to our own lives, the lessons she has passed on.
So be grateful that she has left us,
For we know not what could happen,
If we give ourselves, and the company we keep, up to temptation.

May the darkness of my soul, stay within me lord.
If it comes again, oh the guilt I bear.
Keep my daughter safe within your hands.

(Take me, take me.)

Won't you come for me, won't you take me home.
When I took her life, how she bled for you.
How the devil takes over everyone.

(Come to my house, to my front door, and strike me down for evermore).

I've got a wife but I don't love her, a child I don't know.
She's smitten with a monster, and a monster's keeping her at home.
Oh, your mother was an angel; her heart was laced with gold.
Her thoughts were always of you, but the devil came, or so you're told,
And he controlled her secrets, and made her keep his own.
But the knife that took her sorrow was held in my firm hands and oh,
The guilt I feel, the guilt I feel, the guilt I feel, the sorrow I can't bear.

Death, how she bled for me. Oh, how I bleed for you.
Track Name: As Far as the Rails Go
Holding my heart in your hand, we're victims of circumstance.
Hard as we may try, there is no use in fighting it.

If we could see further than what's passed by,
And I was so nervous I stayed up all night,
And though it hurts you to say, if you could just see me now.

What does your heart do when all the blood starts to gush its way out the other side?

Maybe we knew nothing then, and maybe we know it now.
Maybe I'll start choking up when I finally let you go.

My hands feel so large when pressed against yours,
My fingers would stop shaking if I could be sure
That all the things that we say we planned for our lives
Were still more than the dreams we left in our minds,
And the train only goes as far as the rails go.
And I won't regret this, and you will forgive me,
And you won't regret how much you needed me,
If only for such a short time to need with,
So don't be afraid now 'cause I'm never coming home.
Track Name: And a Slothful Child Shall Lead Them
Pushing up from underneath the ground
Everyone started digging through the leaves
Pound on your chest ‘til you get it back
Hopeless, hopeless, nothing's coming out

When the tide made a choice to drag
Whatever it could up to the shore
Oh, it all started here underneath your spent muscles
And when we saw, we knew right what you had done
(Sleep my angel child)

Built a tower to the sky, oh, with each great stone I lie
Oh the frozen gates
(Carried on the waves)
Cold your penance paves
Onto another weary stay
I know, I know it must be hard with only strangers at the door
Well I'm your only family now
Always watching you

One to another we will fill all the planks and beams
As though the stars were fashioned just for us
And you take the light on your face,
Oh it makes what you're made of, and it takes, and it takes
Simple structure, everything yields the right way
You'll notice the shape, the dress on your shoulder blades

(Forgive us, brothers,
Forgive us, children
Solemn plans we've best yet to lay
Run, run, children, best misbehave
You left, gone out too far
We stayed, we wait and wait)

Brush your hair gently to the back, down the stairs, all the lights go out
Gently, though the water washes up to shore, it carries with us
The slate and stone, the slag and smoke, the smelted ore, the burning coal

Timber taller as it grows, shedding cycles of its life's creation,
Oh, how far the fall, how deep down dark the river flows, it's coming out

Let the tidal wave crash down and wash over you
I can see it, I've been meaning now for our fondest dreams
(There is a river of blood)

True the shape underneath your dress
Carved from something we could never make
Built up from nothing, formed to resemble,
So we've hewn and shaved, whittled away
Oh, what a mess, a mess we've made
(And your shoulder blades
Floating on your grave)

And it beckons to you now, but you don't listen,
Oh, painful though it seems, the selfish bees, so naive the queen
(There is meaning in this)
And you, down on your knees, harried by these,
Carrying on only to free yourself from the drinking well
So cover your eyes again
Poor child

There is an ocean beneath the ground
There is a beast within us all
There is a place inside my heart
Where it's all coming out

Oh, our heathen ways have run us under
And the storm is gathering now
Above us all, oh is it nature
Tearing back its ugly skin?

Timber tall as it grows, I think you know the truth
Forgive us children, you know what to do
With your hands tied up across your back
You can only jerk back and forth and bend up toward the light
Fills your eyes with misty haze, oh
I'll be fine, oh, I know

Dry your eyes, dry your hair, come inside
Set by the fire, blankets and candlelight
I'll be fine, come closer to me now
Here, what does it do, what can we do?
Track Name: Hymnal
Let us tear it from the heart
Let us tear it from the heart
Let us purge the parasite
Let us bathe deep in their blood

Let it pour out from your eyes
Let it pour out from your eyes
Let us pour it from our veins
Let us pour a sacred flood

Let our rivers run and run
Let our rivers run and run
Bless you children, run and run
He will always find you here

For all of our humours, take one
For all of our answers, oh
For all of our hubris, another one gone
Another one gone
Let every lung fill

Let us bathe deep in their blood
Let us bathe deep in their blood
Foster hands of blackened coal
Let us bring a flood
Track Name: Let Every Evil Lung Fill
We all joined hands and watched you struggling to
Keep your soul afloat, and we sang as it sank, sank, sank.

Hope is nigh high on the riverside.
Would you believe such a lie?
All of the things we never thought we'd say
All of the things we would do anyway

Trade the nights waiting by the light
(You’ll rot inside)
For the forest and the sound it makes when it sleeps

Just over a mile out of town
Oh, right where the pine trees lay
Sullen and strong, fallen of our mistakes
Deep in the woods, together there we shall stay

You tried as hard as you could
But it wasn't good enough
To keep it out
Oh, how it runs from your mouth
Let it drip down your throat

I will do everything I can do
But I can't say everything I can do will be enough
To keep you safe

The things you love are childish things
The dreams you dream are childish dreams
The songs you sing are childish themes
So sleep, my angel, don't you fear a thing
Track Name: Interment
You were walking all alone,
Late last night into the woods,
But you got lost along the way,
I'm still waiting for you.
Everyone said 'be patient, son,
Give her some time and she will come,'
But I've been searching for a week,
Haven’t turned up anything,
Our eyes were made to fool us.

It was the dress you always wore,
And oh my god, there's so much blood.
We knew no one could survive; heaven, grant us mercy.
There was a clearing in the trees,
Ominous pile of sticks and leaves,
And there was something underneath,
We all knew what it would be,
You were staring back.

And at your funeral the trumpets called to the sky,
Clamored 'how could someone do this to a child?'
And nothing ever fell as hard as my knees onto the ground.

Now you sleep forever in the ground,
Now you're one of the lord's children.
When you get to Heaven, when He finds you,
Won’t you tell the rest up there we miss them, too?
Just imagine all the fun we could have,
You are such a pretty girl, oh,
I'm the only one who loves you now,
So my angel don't you move, you'll tire out.
I've got such big plans for you my lovely child,
Don’t be frightened, when you scream, no one hears you.
And the woods breathe life to us, to our hearts, honest,
And the mountain mourns for me, mourns for you.

(Do you believe that there is an ocean under the ground,
And on the surface we honor its somber gaping mouth,
And we crawled inside time ago to see how the blood moves in and out,
What the heart would do, the mountain mourns for me, for you.)

Agnus dei, filius patris, amen.

The clutch of saints, the feast of swine,
The slaughter stain, your pretty face.

We all joined hands with one another
And stood, silent, ‘til the sun sank under the trees,
And we put you in the ground,
And we shoveled all of the earth back in place.
The angels said with a great sigh,
"What are we to do with this?"

And the dogs laid still, short of breath.
Pine trees bowed in the gale.
Room fades in, still chained together,
He slipped up, you slip out.

Under the gathered storm you ran,
Ruggedly bristled and bare feet.
But he'll find you over and over.
Your crooked legs aren't strong enough to escape me now.
And you came into a clearing,
And the beast, how it found us,
And oh, how it finds you, too.
And you feel the hands drag you to the ground,
How cold, the steel that slipped across your throat,
Oh did it drain into the ground,
Does it flow back to us now?
Track Name: Beneath the Ground
Lately, everything we've tried to say
Has come out wrong, I know
Maybe I've forgotten some important thing
And maybe we'll never see

The timber sulks and strains every day
Grow up straight and carry the way

The light upon your face, the glimmer in your eyes
It takes it all away so leaving here
A darkened void, a stranger's room

And now what have we done?
And now there is no turning back
And now what do your sweaty hands do
Now that you've gone and dropped everything
You held on to?

Tall through sleet and slated decay
Somber respite, seconds to flay

Eagerly hushed, though you'd been speaking
Desperate to retain what you said and
There's no use in trying
To have it back, it's left you now for good
There's no use in trying
To have it back, you've lost it all, I know

(Oh please, oh please, can someone hear me,
Please, oh please, I'm underneath)

And we only go, as far as the trails go
(Did you hear the wind say everything will be okay from here?)
The tracks led us here, and then they just disappear
Track Name: The Devil's Mouth
I am gonna hold you down, no matter how you shake.
I am gonna tie you down, so you can't get up from the ground.
Lit up by the lantern flame, your face shines up so bright.
Hold the knife against your throat, won't you tell me if it starts to slip away.

And the fire burns bright, and I am the earth, and He is the sun.
Oh how black it stains your heart, spark ignite, and burn away, light of day,
And there is an ocean beneath the ground.
There is a beast within us all.

Take her to the waterfall, where the tide will run her down.
Take her to the river now, where her body will never be found.
Take her deep into the mines, where her soul will light the sky.
Take her to the mountain cave, where she will never be saved.

And the coal comes alive, and the mines call my name.
Dig deeper 'til we find the place where we'll be saved.

Steel latched across the door, all the tears streaming down her face.
He knows just what must be done. She'll get what she deserves.
Oh how we sin ourselves; oh how we keep him, the Devil, out.
The Devil's mouth found hers.

May peace be yet returned to us, if you find it in your heart.
May she be treated justly lord, for she knew not what she'd done.
May we be here when judgment comes, and we'll rise to meet your hands.
Forgive us of our falters lord, for we know not what we do.

And the fire burns bright, and I am the sky, and I am the weeds.
Oh the Shepherd cut me down, slashed about and come the day, the end of days,
And there is an ocean beneath the ground.
There is a beast within me now.
There is a place inside my heart where the blood pools up,
And when it's ruptured comes gushing out.

Lead us through the darkness lord, and keep her mother close.
Hand upon my daughter's shoulder, don't you know you're safe with me?
Track Name: Fool
Close your eyes, pretend you're somewhere else
That's what you get for keeping it inside
Every day it gets a little worse
You wasted every chance you got
You thought a diamond grew inside
Turns out it was just another stone
And cold, it drags you under
Sinking by your device to stay afloat
Reaching out as far as my arms go
I'll tell you I've got you but I know that I can't reach that far

You crane your neck around
I walked in to see you smile
And in the half a second when it goes
You try as quickly as you can
To come up with the fastest way to say
"Look out behind you"
But lo, the tide, it dragged me under
And only choking yelps were coming out
And all it takes to make the noise that we're used to
Takes you to realize there is nothing you can do

Close your eyes, pretend you're somewhere else
You feel this time it's not the same
And when you think that things have finally changed
You realize what a fool you've been
And just like your father to ask your forgiveness
And just like the monster to bait your affection
Just like your mother to slip through your memory
Our paths are decided from miles and miles away

What does your heart do when I am near you?
Does it remember what other hearts sound like?
Pounding and gushing, a venom, a poison
It's lethal, it's fatal, and still you will trust it as a cure
Track Name: What Does Your Blood Do?
(Long I forge a link in the chain
From all the iron we've laid
I forge a link in the chain
We'll be together again
Long wait, a link in the chain
Holds us beneath our own weight
I know this link in the chain
Binds us together again
One more link in the chain
Waits for me at the
End of days, a link in the chain
All day, and over again)

I carry it on the way I go
I drag it behind my tired soul
(let the rain fall)
It moans and it shakes you to your bones
(let the earth shake)
It rattles to prove mistakes I've made

But quick as you turn your back to me
I'll be watching over you
I wait and I wait for this to pass
But oh Lord, it never goes, oh, it goes

(So I bend and break and forge another link in the chain
It takes us to walk down the path to the lake
I will bend and break another link in the chain
It dips our heads under the tide and the waves)

Let the rain fall
Let the earth shake
Let the rain fall

I'm gonna build a tower
I'm gonna build it straight
I'm gonna build a tower
Up to Heaven's gate

I'm gonna dig a tunnel
I'm gonna carve a cave
I'm gonna dig a tunnel
And It'll be my grave

(It's all coming out, it's all coming out...)
And begs you please you burry it all I know, I know
You won't give up what you've lost
It eats you alive, oh, it ruptures your heart
And the blood comes gushing out

I forge a link in the chain

(I bend and I break another link in the chain
And we've wrought all the pain, another link in the chain)
I carry it on the way I go
Does it run red down your throat?
I carry it on the way I go
Does it stain your tattered clothes?
Oh, Heaven will know the place I go
Does it leave you on its own?
Oh, Heaven will know the place I go
Does it shoulder your sorrow?

I forge a link in the chain
Binds us together again
Track Name: Angels
Snow fell lightly down,
But you didn’t notice it
‘Til it moved past the light
Forest and the fields,
A golden halo set
Reflected on the trees

The water froze up
On the roof of our house
And rolled down the sides
And the smooth, frigid spikes
Just reached for the ground
But the only way to get down there
Would cause their body to break

The moon smiled down on us
To tell us it’s okay,
But he’s far enough away
That the only thing he can
Make out are the stars,
The mountains, and the lakes
How naïve the sky,
Paints itself so bright
Not knowing all the while
We crawled out of the cave
We pulled out all its guts
To see what we could make

You told me you see
The same thing every night
You toss and you turn
As you’re sinking beneath
And you say you’re scared to death
Of what is gonna happen
If you stay too long
Well I wait by your side,
Stay with you all night,
But your eyes never close
And you shake and you scream
And you gasp for air
As you’re falling asleep
And I grab you so hard
That I bruise both your arms
And the sun is the sun,
And the weeds are just weeds

This will only take a second
Take you to the cemetery

Can’t help but think every night
What could have been if we’d found her alive
Can’t help but feel it inside
What did he do to you, you poor, helpless child?

We walked so deep into the woods
That we could not remember how to get back
A golden halo set thirty feet above
They said it would be okay
There is an ocean beneath the ground
Where the blood runs rapidly. If you look close enough
You can see it seeping up around you and me
As we sit ‘til we freeze in the snow, in the trees
Track Name: Chrysopoeia
She begged me “be careful, ‘cause this is a dream,
And this is the happiest you’ll ever be
And if you lose it now, you know I won’t be
Here when you wake up”
I tightened my fists and I clenched down my teeth,
Repeating to myself “you know what you’ve seen,
And if your rationale should fail you, oh, just trust it how it seems.”

It became too much to satisfy,
The pressure just to see you alive one last time
To fold it into shapes we’d all recognize
And I could keep it up if my palms would stay dry.

Remember the promises you made today
(and everything)
Remember the pattern your bedroom lights made
(takes away)
And all the colors in the world could not undo
This awful gray
(this anticipation, give us the strength, our will engraved)
Remember the timbre, the sound of my voice
(and all we’ve done)
Remember that out there you don’t have a choice
(save your soul)
And all the wishes you once held onto have
Burned out with the stars
(this intrepidation, courage to walk on wounded legs)

Let the darkness fall upon
Footsteps in the afterthought
Let us bathe deep in his blood, oh,
Did you see the scratches along the wall?
Did you see the dust trails map out our crawls?
Did you hear the lock turn above in the hall?

(There was time left to get this all undone)
Did you sleep well angel child?
Did you dream of being free?
Running in the fields behind our house
Where it would grow much too high
Your mother would cry
“Where’ve you gone off to?”

Did the moonlight keep you up?
Beautiful the scene, bars of light across your face
Through the cracks and imperfections
I’ll hold onto you

He would scream
(run a brush through your hair)
After every misery
(what a beautiful dress I’ve got for you)
When we couldn’t keep it from coming out
(why don’t you say a word?)
He will see.
(don’t you know what it does to me?)

Look into my eyes as deep as they go,
The both of us here is all that matters now
And I could feel it rushing in, and wouldn’t you know,
I woke up

Toss and turn, the cold set of sheets
You reach your tired arm
To touch the empty side and feel she’s still gone
And as you breathe as short as before
All at once you know what happened
And set out in the snow

Will it run from your veins, or will it spray from your hands, oh,
Will it cover my clothes for everyone to witness, or
Will it all fall away into the ground where you came from,
Dust to dust.

(We all will light this fire in honor of the slain
As air gives form to ashes, dust will rise above the flame
So we burn the stone to cinders, and the stone will snuff this flame,
Now the fuel that would feed us blows us out, amen)

Oh, when his eyes opened I was standing just beside the bed,
Before he could understand what happened
Dragged into the cave, so deep that he could never find his own way out,
And neither could I, but I don’t mind
You monster what will you do to me, but I’ve
Done nothing wrong
(lay your hands off)
I’ve done nothing
(take away)

You can be led to trust in lies, but you don’t get it
No-one loved them like I did, oh,
(let the darkness, let it swallow)
With the strength of twenty men
But simple as her smile
The knife went all the way in
Again and again
The earth started to shake,
Crumbling down
And the cracks ran to the ground

The caving in, and you ran
Fast as you could, but you could not
Run fast enough, oh, I know
You could hear it all through town
One limp arm left hanging down
Took three days to dig you out

You poor thing, only yourself a child
(and we will do)
The evil we’d marked you could not have come out
(all we can)
From your great hands, so please forgive us
For we know not what we do
(to be safe here from all of the plagues that we deserve)
We know the anguish that you’ve overcome
(your funeral)
And no one down here blames you for what you’ve done
(tailored suit)
And when you get up to Heaven will you be together there?
Pass on all our prayers,
We will hold you now
We’ll none of us let go
(Fit just like it should, only thing that ever fit right
Only thing that looked as nice
Only thing that you’ll ever wear)

And I could swear just before it came down upon him,
He knew just what he had done
Only heaven will know where he will go

The narrow path into the woods, led back to our house,
Light from the trees coming in.

We will not forget
We will always keep them,
The ones we haven’t yet come to really know
The ones we’d never meant to
The ones held underneath
The ones walking above
The ones who heard our footsteps
The ones we couldn’t help
The ones who gave it all
The ones who had it taken
The ones who had no choice
The ones we’d always love
The ones who’d never have us
The ones who always knew
The ones who held it close
The ones who still believe it
The ones that see right through
The ones who can’t let go
The ones who tell them over and over ‘til it goes
The ones we couldn’t keep
The ones we couldn’t shoulder,
The ones who weren’t home

(it used to be everyone’s home
The way it used to be, everyone’s home)

(You tried your best, oh we all know)

(Hope, hope, carry us, oh, breathe into us
Let our lungs fill, oh, let our eyes bleed
Give us the strength to crawl on wounded knees
Give us hope to turn around
Even though we know not what waits for us far behind
Let the rain fall, oh, let the earth shake
Oh, let it go, oh, let us go, let us go, let us go)